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This week I bought a new car... it's Gold, it's shiny... it's new... ITS MINE!!! I am so happy with it. I have been needing and wanting a new car for a very long time and I was so pleased that I actually got a loan. I have a hard time understanding the whole concept of low credit... You ask for a loan and they say no because you have low credit... so you go and apply for a credit card to build said credit and they say no because you have low credit... how the crap does that happen? You need to build your credit which is what credit cards are for but you can't build it because you have bad credit??? WELL DUH!!! THUS THE ENTIRE REASON FOR APPLYING IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! It's backwards and frusterating so you keep plugging along... this has been the story of my life since conception pretty much... and finally I have barely enough credit to buy a car that works.
Now... I am not complaining anymore because that smidgen of credit was enough to get the beautiful vehicle that I can now call my own. I will be posting pictures soon...
Some changes have taken place in my life since I wrote last... I got my job back. No longer Mosaic but Chrysalis. I am once again reminded that I love my job. It truly is the best one I have had... thus the desire to stay in it now for 16 months. I chose to be laid off. I found out that I needed a break. I have discovered that in order to appreciate something great you need the opportunity to miss it. I found out quickly that I MISSED MY JOB. As a result of my chosen "break" I almost didn't get the job back... and it was hard to convince the new big boss that I genuinely just wanted to be back, surrounded by the amazing people I serve, and to feel accomplished again. For the first time ever I can honestly say that I am good at what I do. I wasn't so sure when the transition of Mosaic to Chrysalis began...A series of events took place which in the end left me wanting... which is another reason why I chose to leave as opposed to staying. Anyone who has gone through a transition of companies knows what I am talking about, so many things change... people are offered promotions you felt you deserved, people whom you have worked with for months leave, management changes, routines change, protocol changes... ultimately that much change all at once has a tendency to leave you unsure about everything you were so certain of only a few short weeks before. In the end the clients won out. I had no idea just how important a role each person has played in my life until they weren't in it anymore. I have sooo missed them and am glad to be back.
I finally paid off my car a couple days ago... the four years I have had this vehicle have been the longest years of my life. Anyone who knows me knows how I feel about this car... it has been the torment of my life, the bane of my existence, the pile of metal that pretends to be a car, the monster in my driveway and the biggest chore I have ever had to be responsible for. On the other hand, it has been my freedom, my independence, my friend. It's weird to call a car a friend but ultimately you do have a relationship of sorts with your car... you love it when you see it, so you buy it, after that you take care of it when it's sick, you baby it every day and care for it until it's done with life... or you get sick of paying to have it fixed and get a replacement. lol. This is what I am attempting to do next week... I have found a lovely little car... it's Gold, it's shiny, it's new... and I have earned it. I test drove it a few days ago and what a feeling! I had forgotten that you aren't supposed to get whiplash when going over bumps and that the engine shouldn't sound like it's going to explode or spew birds when you start it. Windshield wipers should work... tires shouldn't have to be replaced every other month and the spark plugs should not... I repeat should not blow out of your engine when you are on the freeway. You shouldn't have to leave your car on the freeway in American Fork because it completely falls apart while you are on a date. lol... bad experience and not impressive. This car does none of these things... so hopefully I will get it. I am excited to find out.
I have decided after nearly 20 years of arguing with myself that for the moment I am done with my Dad's side of the family, I say for the moment because ultimately I do want to feel like a part of the family and always end up giving in at some point. While I feel pretty confident that this is going to stick, I can't know what will happen in the next few months and I am a pretty forgiving person. I love my family, don't get me wrong, I do, but they have been hurtful in sooo many ways. I am tired of feeling unwanted, unloved, and unworthy of their time. I have taken each one of them into consideration for every important event in my life... we are not wanted or included in anything for the family. When there is a family reunion and everyone but you and your siblings are invited to go... it doesn't leave you feeling accepted or loved. On one hand I feel like I am being petty but on the other I feel like ever since my parents got divorced so did we... I have a wonderful family who does want me around, that I can count on and that I know would do anything for me. I cannot say that for them. Hence, I am done... I am heartbroken about it but I am a good person, and someone who deserves to be cared about... they are the ones missing out which is sad.
Everything else is going very well for me right now... aside from my being completely single... I dislike that part of my life but I have not found anyone I like enough to date in a long time and so I deal... lol.
So My mom has a book published as is displayed on my profile called The Tipton Chronicals... such a good book and she has now written a sequel to the book which I spent the last day and a half reading the rough draft for... also fantastic. It always makes me think about getting in touch with the creative part of my inner self and attempting to do the same thing... my mom did it... twice... and is getting ready to write the third book as we speak... so why can't I?
I will tell you why... I cannot write. I mean I can write but I can't "Write" I get my laptop out and open an empty page and in the end it just stays empty... no ideas ever come... no inspirational plots... not even names of Characters should I write a book... so once again... I am giving up. I am just going to console myself with the thought that I have written a lot of poetry and I draw, sing, dance, crochet... pretty much everything else in the creativity department... this is just one gift I was not blessed with.
So I have discovered a few things recently, number one being that not everyone can be trusted, in fact most people can't but there are those who fight harder to win the priviledge of one's trust and I have had an awakening experience recently that has axed out two people whom I am happy to say are gone and sad to say that it took a year for me to decide to give them the final shove out of my life.
Two, I am way more attached emotionally to my snuggie than I originally anticipated. I hated them when they came out... those infomercials about them... give me a break... FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!!!... you know the one... well I wasn't buying and then Christmas came around... I got a lot of things I truly wanted and needed and then it came down to the last present which happened to come from my Step dad's parents who, lord love them, do buy the infomercial crap and decided that the gift of the season for every member of the family was.... yep you guessed it... SNUGGIES. Mine is a lovely shade of Pink which is awesome cuz I am quite fond of pink but nevertheless I graciously said my thank you's for the "lovely" gift and proceeded to put it back in it's box and shove it in my closet because I was not going to use it. Well... yesterday I was napping... It was too hot to be covered with lots of layers and too cold in my basement bedroom to sleep on top of the covers when I remembered the snuggie... I pulled it ever so gently out of it's box... kinda stared at it... and put it on... BEST NAP OF MY LIFE!!!! I am now a firm snuggie fan!!!
Three, I once again realized how truly patriotic I am in spite of my very fervent claims of being politically neutral... I love our country... I love July... Ute Stampede, the rodeo, cotton candy, caramel apples, tornado twister lemonade, shops, The star spangled banner and FIREWORKS!!! Is there any better way to celebrate the country and our freedom than fireworks??? I love them... the color and the sound... the music that goes along with them... they are truly amazing and this year the winner of the firework competition would be Mona... they kicked butt!!! They have always been good but they have kicked their game into high gear and it was breath taking from start to finish. I love watching fireworks... I love to dance as well but that part of tonight did not turn out so great unfortunately. We were all sitting on the grass, anxiously awaiting the fireworks when the dj's started Cotton Eyed Joe... one of my favorite dances ever... against my religion to not dance it if it comes on so I went and danced it... as I started I was taken back by the amount of people joining me at first... then I was in awe that everyone was having a blast with me and then I started to get tired... my chest started hurting... I was gasping for breath but determined to finish. I finished and oh my gosh... dizzy, felt like I was gonna throw up... my lungs hurt, my throat hurt... I just about passed out... I can firmly say that I am too old to dance the cotton eyed joe anymore and am very depressed about it... oh well.
I just want to give a shout out to my Brother Mitchel and his wife Kori... They had their baby last week!!! Congrats Mitch and Kori!!! I also want to welcome Chadley Thade Forbes who entered the world on June 1st weighing in at 6 lbs 1 oz and 20 inches long... Auntie Britni Loves you and will be posting pics of you shortly...
Today is the last day of the best, most hectically frustrating 14 months of my life. Today is my last day in my job with Mosaic. I do assisted living for people with disabilities and as of 8 pm tonight I am officially laid off. I am not excited about it... all week I have been talking myself into believing that I am relieved to be done for a bit... have a chance to stay caught up with my classes, take some time for me... then today I went to the shop and told Jay, now he wants a picture of me to remember me by, Tony starting crying and wanted to know if I didn't like him anymore... it took a lot of talking to convince him that I won't be leaving forever, that I will still go see him and the kicker, Lorraine, my lorraine... saw me as I was leaving and lit up like she usually does and immediately pulled me in for a hug. She and I have two things, we call each other "my girl" and she is non verbal... I am the only staff she says this to and the other is to put our foreheads together and do the eskimo kisses... another only me and her thing... she did all of those things today and it took all my strength not to break down completely. Corey hit himself repeatedly and said a few choice terms that I shall not repeat...lol. I am going to miss these people so much... it's really hard to devote yourself completely to a job, to make people your entire world and make yourself theirs and then just have it end involuntarily... They are the greatest influence on me to date... they have been everything to me and I am truly honored to have gotten to spend time with them.
Mitchel came over and informed the family that he and Kori are having a boy! I am way excited for them! Kaijh has been such a joy... they will be done after this baby arrives. They have their girl and boy so they have decided to be done. Kori has been put on high risk again with this pregnancy and we all worry about her but she did great with Kaijh and I have faith that she will do great this time around too, I don't blame them for wanting to be done however. They are planning on naming this baby Silas Thade... He is due to arrive in June!!! Again, it's strange that our family is getting so big. I used to think it would take forever to become adults and start having kids and families of our own... and here we are. It's surreal sometimes but so fun!
